What Kind of Day Has it Been?
by blondie
Summary: Olivia deals with a breakup. Femslash: OliviaAbbie. No sex or anything, just angst.


Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me. If they did, I'd get rid of Jack McCoy and give Abbie way more lines. Anyway, they belong to Dick Wolf, lucky guy!

Tossing the keys on the entry table, I flicked on the light and the feeling hit me again. "She's gone." Her Texas Longhorns blanket, always lying across the back of the couch; the pictures of us in Cancun, smiling and tan; the scent of her perfume; all were markedly absent. But more than that, there was a feeling of emptiness, as if when I spoke, the words would bounce off the walls hollowly. And while I stand in our, no my, entryway, the refrain from that Sarah McLachlan song goes round and round in my mind, "I don't know how to let you go..." God, I miss her...

The day she left was sunny, mocking the storminess inside our apartment. "Liv, this job is the opportunity of a lifetime! Just come with me, you can be a cop anywhere." Abbie pleaded with me. We'd been going around and around with this discussion. I was happy here, had a job that was fulfilling, a wonderful woman to share my life with, why mess with a good thing? We had argued endlessly, Abbie saying that there was no way she would advance further than ADA as long as Jack McCoy was in the office, and me saying that she could wait Jack out, he had to retire eventually. Both of us refused to see the other side, intent only on controlling the situation. And the arguments just continued to escalate. How can you love a person so much and be so angry with them at the same time?

"Liv, I have to go, I already signed the contract. What's keeping you here now?" By now we were both flushed with anger, her dark eyes snapping. I wanted to give in, but my stubborn side was in control now, and I just watched as she slammed the door behind her.

She had called, emailed, sent flowers, all telling me how much she loved me, how much she needed me with her. I ignored them, tossed the flowers in the trash, and went through the motions at work, until today when Cragen put me off on forced leave for a few days. "Get your head together, Olivia, and decide where you want to be. You're no good here when your mind is with Abbie."

Maybe it was the package at the front door that broke the final thread holding my resolve together. I hadn't opened it yet, but Abbie's distinct penmanship caused my heart to skip several beats before resuming at a more rapid pace.

I looked at the package, now sitting on the coffee table in front of me. The plain brown wrapping looked so innocent, yet I knew that whatever was in the box would drastically change my life, forcing me to make a final decision about where I wanted to be. My hands were trembling as I picked up the package, opening it slowly.

Seeing what was inside, I began to cry. When Abbie and I had first starting seeing each other, in that wonderful, crazy stage where people share their deepest secrets, I had confessed my guilty love for Barry Manilow. Abbie had laughed, saying that no one in the right mind would voluntarily listen to "Copa Cabana" and "Mandy" over and over. That became our secret code. When we spoke on the phone and people were nearby, we'd use phrases from lyrics, smiling at the girlish immaturity of it, but enjoying it all the same. Now, inside the box I saw two tickets to a Barry Manilow concert in DC. "Liv, everyday is a "Mandy" day for me since I left. I love you. Abbie."

Crossing the room, I picked up the phone and shakily dialed the cellphone number that Abbie had given me before she left. My heart was in my throat, and I just knew that if she answered I wouldn't be able to speak. What do I say after six months?

"Hello?" Her husky voice, something I hadn't heard in months but dreamed about nightly, took my breath away.

My voice trembled when I responded, "Ab? It's me. I'm coming to see you."

"Go look out the window." She replied.

There she was, standing on the sidewalk, waving up at me with a huge grin on her face. I didn't even hang up the phone, I just ran out the door and into her arms.


End file.
